20 Things I Want My Best Friend to Know for her 20th Birthday

It’s not everyday your best friend turns 20. And sometimes there are just some things (make it 20 things) you want them to know on that particular day. Let’s see what we have to say.

1. I haven’t written a personal blog in ages…until I remembered today.

When I thought I lost the drive to start writing personal blogs again (and not blogs freelance buyers want me to write for them, no – I mean blogs that actually mean something to me), all it took was remembering that I have a wonderful best friend as a source of inspiration and motivation to actually begin again.

My writing skills are rusty from lack of practice, just as my body is rusty from lack of ballet. But just like my love for dance that always spurs me to try again regardless of my current state, so is my love for my best friend who always will be the reason I will pick up the pen (or keyboard) and write again.

Just as I know that my dance instructors will welcome me back to dance class, rusty body and all, so am I likewise assured that my best friend will welcome any post that comes from my hands, rusty skills and all. After all, anything done with love is done well.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows I will cross mountains and back for her, even if those mountains are tiny little acts like learning to write again.

2. Lately, I’ve wondered what good thing I did in order to deserve her.

After everything I’ve messed up, after every friendship I didn’t know how to keep alive, after all the times I didn’t even try, life chooses not to punish but rather to bless me with a best friend that knows just when my introverted moods sometimes prevent me from being a good friend to anybody.

Never have I met anyone who sees nothing but good in me even after being acquainted with the dark that lives in all of us.

While some of us have a little more of that inner darkness than others, my best friend cuts through it like a lighter in the night.

In times I stop believing anybody could do that for a dark introverted little cloud like me, life has an uncanny way of making sure my best friend is there to remind me that I can be the sunshine for anyone, just as she has been for me.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows I am thankful everyday to have her come into my life to be a light – no, a flame – where a burnt-out candle like me can light up her own wick and do the same for everyone else.

3. Only God really knows how much she means to me.

For somebody who’s introspective, I’m far from expressive. People know the only time I will talk about love is when it is me talking about my love for dance.

But love with my best friend is something quite like the reason I love dance to begin with: where so much is said without saying anything at all. It’s not the words that reflect my love but rather movement, action, time, and effort that does.

And while I’m sometimes not the best at expressing myself, there’s a God out there who knows how much my best friend means to me.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows that, while my words will fail, I pray my actions will not. And like star-crossed lovers, our friendship was written in the stars – again, not with words but something maybe none of us will really ever comprehend.

4. Veronica is to Betty, and that’s who we’ll always be.

My best friend and I are sometimes more different than we are alike. When she picks up another lipstick to add to her growing collection and I shake my head, I know the same is true when she sees me adoring another notebook that I obviously will not use until probably five years has passed.

The differences between the two of us are what make us stronger, like the two pieces of Velcro that feel so different yet stick so well when taken together.

I hope my best friend knows that. I hope she knows I will always play the role of her other half and I will never tire of choosing the opposite of her preference, of agreeing to disagree, of learning to see things beyond just my perspective.

5. Everyone loves her (but maybe not as much as me – oh, and her cat, of course).

And I honestly cannot find anyone who does not.

6. You can bet there are too many people who care about her.

I don’t think I have ever met so many people who care about one single person as much as they do for my best friend. It amazes me how one person has the support system some of us can only dream of having.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows that the people who love her show all the big and small ways she has left a footprint in all our lives.

I hope she knows that the love she receives is a product of the love she gives and gives and gives.

7. Of course I’ll always accompany her to the bathroom whether or not she asks.

That’s the ultimate best friend unspoken rule, isn’t it?

8. Unbelievably, I met my soul sister when I met her.

Maybe best friend doesn’t begin to describe what we are. I always say words fail me, no matter how much I love the sound of them, the feel of them. But I am a dancer and am in love with things that cannot be explained with the limits of speech.

Just as I enjoy making sense of what seems so senseless – abstract art, haiku poems, modern dance – I enjoy the ungraspability of our friendship, just as much as I enjoy making up words like ungraspability.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows that our souls are intertwined like the artist to their craft, that a little piece of my soul will forever be in her hands and perhaps a part of me would shatter if fate should have this friendship to break.

9. My family is convinced we’re twins at heart.

My best friend will forever be a welcome addition to our small, quiet family. Even my brother would agree, even if he won’t say it out loud.

10. You can probably only really have one best, best, best friend.

And I’m pretty sure I’ve found mine with her anyway.

11. Beautiful? An understatement.

And I mean this in the straightest way possible.

She’s beautiful. Inside and out.

12. Even in times of bad, I don’t stop caring.

We get blown into these hurricanes where debris of our lives get picked up and whirled around and around and around that we don’t know how to get out of the storm. Sometimes it gets hard to be a normal human being, and sometimes it gets even harder to be a best friend.

As our friendship progressed, I realized it wasn’t always daisies and rainbow sprinkles on a banana split shared on a warm summer day. Sometimes friendship was silence and typing on laptops, cramming requirements while sitting in the corner of a coffee shop and just waiting for the semester to end.

But even in the silence, in the absence of daisies and sprinkles, there’s still the glimmer of a certainty that after the silence and the coffee and the work, there would always be us.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows that I could be silent for days, that I could disappear from the world under a mask of building careers and futures and loves that I would never stop caring, and nothing in this world is going to make me do so too.

13. She can be sure I will listen to her whenever, wherever, and however.

As an introvert, I’ve become well-versed in the language of listening deeply and of understanding fully. I’ve learned through years and years to be like a sponge for my friends, soaking up their stories, their rants, their successes, and all else, and I know that even some of the most talkative people sometimes just want somebody to be there. To listen without offering judgement or advice. To be quiet as a sheep but as attentive as the herd dog that guards that sheep.

I hope my best friend knows this. I hope she knows I’m a call away, a text away – a message, a sticker, an emoji away.

I hope she knows I’ll always be her sponge, her confidante, her keeper, and I hope she knows that I will never judge, never tell, but will always treasure whatever secrets have been spoken between us.

14. There’s no distance known to man that will take away our friendship.

We’ve been through “long-distance” relationships – spending weeks away from each other on internships and vacations? Longer distances are no match for the bond we’ve made.

Months won’t be a problem. Years won’t be a problem.

15. Forget replacements – there will be no other person to fill the part that she so perfectly plays already.

There are stories about friends losing touch that scare the both of us so much. But I know, sure as can be, that we will not star in the next of those stories. Instead, she and I will write our own story about our friendship, how we stuck with it through and through, whether we saw each other every day then get sick of each other’s faces or whether we didn’t see each other for months and missed each other beyond words could describe.

I hope my best friend knows that. I hope she knows that this is one story I will always tell. And I will tell it with laughter, with tears, and the way I always tell stories: with love.

Ours is one of the best stories there is, and I make it my burden to share it.

16. Really though… We should be the real #BFFGoals

Step aside, It Girls, there’s a new squad taking over.

17. I intend to set the birthday/special occasion bar high – beware, potential boyfriends.

And I think this speaks for itself.

18. Even when she gets a boyfriend and starts hanging out with him more, I will always love her more.

At least…until they say their vows. Then I will be the first person at that wedding ceremony who will burst into tears, knowing that she’d have finally found the love she deserves.

But even before they say their vows, I will always love her more, will always want to protect her, but will always know that – even when I’m no longer the first person she’ll want to hang out with, which is perfectly okay – our friendship will always be intact and will always be beautiful, even if she’s so smitten that she may forget. And that’s okay. That’s okay because I hope she knows she can love somebody as much as – or even more than – she loves me.

And I will always be there behind her to make sure whoever receives her love gives it back tenfold. Because that’s all she deserves and more.

19. Nothing is going to tear our friendship apart; I’ll make sure of it.

Because this is one friendship I will not allow the test of time to erode.

20. Don’t worry, potential boyfriends… I’ll help you if you pass the test.

When the boys come lining up after they want to bask in the sunshine that is my bestfriend, they’ll know I’ll be the building that keeps them in the shade in case they can’t handle the light. I’ll be the one who’ll sift through their intentions, their dreams, their fears – all in the effort to make sure nobody hurts her like others may have in the past.

Because our friendship means everything to me, anyone who tries to dim the sunshine will receive a storm in return.

Happy birthday, BFF.

Bonus: Take the first letter of every item on this list and see if it spells anything out. 😉

Mica is the face behind everything you see at her blog, Mind of Mica. She champions the goal-getters, the dream-chasers, and the unapologetic hustlers who are out to make a difference – even if it’s in their own lives.